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Queen of the Damned (2002)
IMDB rating: 4.60
Plot: After many years of sleeping in his coffin, the vampire Lestat awakens only to find that the world has changed and he wants to be a part of it. He gathers a following and becomes a rock star only to find that his music awakens the ancient Queen Akasha and she wants him to become her king…
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Directors: Rymer Michael
Actors: Townsend Stuart,Perez Vincent,McGann Paul,Manon Christian,Spence Bruce,Newton Matthew,Mora Tiriel,Devoy Johnathan,Farnham Robert,Standish Conrad,Horror,Music,Fantasy,
Am I wrong for wanting to commit suicide?
Ever since the age of 6, I wanted to commit suicide. Ever since I was 6 I been called the worsted’s things you can imagine for no reason! I’ve been called ugly out load plenty times in public since I was a kid to now when I go back in fourth to work. I had a bad childhood. I was a quite kid for many reasons….teachers couldn’t stand to see me and classmates called me the ugly boy all the time all the way up to high school graduation. I even was told by a English teacher in high school that she doesn’t like when certain people look at her because it makes her feel extremely uncomfortable..she told this to the whole class but I knew she was talkin to me by the way she made that statement. Obviously she knew I was hurt after I stared at my notebook for the rest of the hour cause she apologized to me in a way a couple days later…..from then on I started realizing how people would always look the other way or cover there mouths never making eye contact while engaging in a conversation with me…..anyway my mom doesn’t like me which im ashamed to tell plenty of reason why she doesn’t….I have a lazy eye because I was born without a certain bone in my eye lid so i had to get stitches which show. My left I blinks faster then the other. I’m a short black male and people say I kind of resemble mike tyson who was charged for rape. anyway I stopped hanging out with close friends cause every time when I’m around them there’s always a joke coming out there mouths about how bad I look ….and I also never leave my house cause "seriously" there’s never one day where I can walk on to a bus, off a bus and a block away to my job or house without someone looking always covering there face or walking across the street from me. It just hurts so much….I know I look like a criminal because most people hold there purse tight when I’m near them and other things…and no, I don’t dress like a "thug" at all. I always where stuff that are high fashion…..I always end up with like 50 dollars from a 650 check because I try to impress people and not come off as a someone negative….but most times I still get nasty looks. my friends call me a person who looks like a rapist as a joke which hurts! but I dont show it that much…I usually get quite for the rest of the day and stop smiling about things that happen as the day go on…..it gets to me because I notice how women react when I’m near them which makes me feel like I have to walk across the streets from them or put my hat on then lower my head down when I’m on the bus so i want get a nasty look because of how bad I look. I always have people making a second thought about sitting near me when I’m just sitting down listening to my mp3 player minding my own business. its just way to noticeable to ignore it honestly…its just hard living life as a nice guy when everybody who doesn’t no me sees me as somethin negative I’m not…and being seen as a rapist just hurts…kills me emotionally cause I was abused when I was little by a cusin I looked up to since I had no father figure living with my mom and two sisters. I would never ever assualt a women!….damn evertime when someone looks at me weird or judge me wrong i wish i can just let them no I’m not that type of person you judge me as but I cant cause I’m a stranger…I cant just say this to random people daily..ill endup goin through more stress…and its not just my left eye that’s the problem….I’m slightly deformed by the jaw which causes my jaw to lean to the right a half of a inch away….its noticeable because I’m a African American with a …strong facial bone structure…..why should I live on? I’m ugly, short as hell, people think I like 17 but im 23 years old, nobody once to be seen with me or near me. I even tried approaching people properly by saying Hi and other ways but I know everybody thinks its just a big fake ass front! when I’m really that nice guy….everybody who knows me through my close friends always tells me the same thing after asking about me "your way different then I judged you as" "you really change my thoughts on how I shouldnt judge people" or wow your very rare I didn’t expect you were a very mature man with a good head on his shoulders…somethin kind of like that…I had one girlfriend which I treated like she was a queen…even when verbal conflicts happend between me and her I never disrespected her by calling her bad names …anyway all the guys and girls who were in bad relationships told her on the side that she can do better by getting with someone tall who looks good etc…how I was dumped 2 years into the relationship was very messed up ..I started gettin bad looks from her and other things but bein a man I couldn’t show how sensitive in weak I was to most things right…so days after she got rid of me I started thinkin every time when I think of me bein in a relationship or any relationship, I realized she and any other women can do better….I never realized how awful I looked until
I read your problem and was very moved by it. I’m sorry to hear about your life and more worried about how you feel about yourself and the deadly alternative that you are considering. I know how keeping things in and putting on a front because you don’t want people to know that they are hurting you feels. But, those feelings fester inside of you and eventually find a way out or give you an alternative that is not in your best interest. Dude, don’t kill yourself. I know I don’t know you and I know my words mean very little because I don’t but, I also know how you feel and trust me when I say, sometimes we don’t understand the direction life pushes us in but, when we get there which is a moment of happiness, we tend to look at all that transpired and happened to come to this result.
You definitely need counseling and a avenue to vent these feelings. Don’t keep them in, write them down in a journal with dates and times of what happened that day and how it made you feel. Find a counselor as soon as possible but in the meantime if you feel suicidal, call the hotline, talk to someone. Your life on this earth does have a purpose and if you off yourself, you will never see it. If you need to write to me, I will write back to you and listen to you. But, don’t off yourself dude. Good luck.
P.S I would like to hear the rest of what you have to say… the ending was cut off.
lasman42 | Nov 24, 2009
That is awful how you have been treated. I hate people who judge others just by their looks. Everyone deserves love no matter what they look like. Please don’t commit suicide, it isn’t the answer. You are a beautiful person on the inside and that is what matters. I do believe that you need to seek therapy to help you deal with what has went on in your life. And I’m sure there is someone out there for you and who will love you for you. Hang in there sweetie and God Bless You !!
mylittlehellions | Nov 24, 2009
